When Defeated by Life

— a heart felt poem by Jiachen Ren

When all of the odds are against you,
When your dreams crumble and fall,
When you’ve worked so hard to get nowhere,
Realizing that you are still nobody,
nothing of significance,
just a tiny speck of dust in the stream of time,
that flows on and on…
Will you wonder
if life is fair?

No.

Life is far from fair —
It is a double edged sword,
that wounds some people,
and gives others strength.

Life is a guardian angel that is blind —
When you fail to grab on to its wings,
you may fall into an abyss of hopelessness, hatred, and despair —
you will suffer,
as darkness consumes every bit of your rationality,
as you cling on to the tether that leads you into the shadow of disillusion;
you will remain there forever,
and never again be found.

Life is benevolent,
it is full of love, sympathy, acts of goodness.
It is however, cruel,
when no one hears your whimper,
when no one cares how you feel,
when people just stand by and watch with their eyes closed
as the last spark of hope goes out,
leaving behind ashes that were once colorful dreams.

What else can I say?
When illusions meet reality,
I open my eyes to see a world of emptiness,
climbing an insurmountable hill,
finding myself stranded in a room
enclosed by impenetrable walls,
lost,
immobilized,
discouraged…

A voice inside tells me, that I should go on,
that I am still young,
and there is much to live for.
But it is getting old.
It is too cliche…
I find myself confined in rusted chains,
blinded by a mirage of past that is covered in blood and dust,
hindered by a vision of bleak and desolate future,
crawling on a winding path that leads to…

God knows where…

Finally,
I let out my last breath,
and exclaim —
life, you son of a bitch!

May 13, 2018, 1:01 AM